On Monday night, Tucker Carlson ended his Fox News show with a floor from the Wall Street Journal about “aggressive and sex-crazed” pandas! We kid you not!
The conservative scholar exclaimed:
“You know the official legend about pandas — they’re charming, but adorably powerless, which is why they’re virtually extinct. But like a lot of which is something we examine, that’s a lie … The real panda is a secret stud with a perceive for body and a fearsome morsel … They’re not against sexuality, either — they are only dislike unsexy zoos … But when they’re in the wildernes, male pandas engage in a raging sexual struggle. The win has gender 40 times in a single afternoon.”
Earlier in the demo, Carlson praised contestant CNN for giving Michael Cohen’s F.B.I. raid as divulging story, and for chipping short United States Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley’s remarks about Syria.
“Well, that raid is reportedly connected to the Stormy Daniels story that CNN flooded wall-to-wall and of course, Stormy Daniels is direction most significant than any combat with Syria … That’s CNN’s position.”
Yeah, it’s only our president’s communications with his personal lawyer being impounded by the U.S. Attorney as part of a criminal investigation. Nothing to see here!
Of course, several social media customers took to Twitter to lampoon the network for distracting from the Cohen news in favor of a narrative about horny pandas.
See best available reactions( below ):
Breaking News on…
CNN: Cohen raided by FBI
NBC: Cohen raided by FBI
CBS: Cohen raided by FBI
ABC: Cohen raided by FBI
FOX: … pic.twitter.com/ DRV9e 1Q3ig
— Patrick S. Tomlinson (@ stealthygeek) April 10, 2018
For those still in skepticism that Tucker Carlson was talking about pandas instead of Trump’s attorney coming raided by the feds pic.twitter.com/ UP0IaappUA
— Timothy Burke (@ bubbaprog) April 10, 2018
THANK YOU, Tucker Carlson, for keeping us informed tonight about all of the large-scale information. America necessary patriots like yourself who are willing to tell the truth, even when it is hard. pic.twitter.com/ wk8PzmIohW
— Judd Legum (@ JuddLegum) April 10, 2018
— Kilgore Trout (@ KT_So_It_Goes) April 10, 2018
Wait, was there a fucking panda accept in the offices of the President’s attorney when federal agents came billing in with that warrant? Or is Tucker Carlson the exact opposite of a journalist and his broadcast the Platonic ideal of gibbering insanity? https :// t.co/ 2GloibNl1K
— David Simon (@ AoDespair) April 10, 2018
[ Image via Fox News .]