We are reminded about the one that got away. That one day you will assembled the right being at the inaccurate season or circumstance will wrap her fingers around you and draw you apart. And we are aware of this, so we know what to do. We know to accept, is moving forward, and forget. We are taught that this is a fact of life, that there is some irrepressible make driving the wedge between us and this almost lover.
However, there may come a period when that wedge is not revealed and inserted by an irresistible army, but instead so is happening to not only be in your self-control — but be you yourself.
Many of us have the tendency to push parties apart. We improve walls and shut beings out, each for our own myriad of reasons. We may fear what letting person in will do to us, and the stronger you feel connected to them, the more supremacy to hurt you-you know they potentially have. So, sometimes that one person may come along, the one who understands you in a way no one else ever has before, someone who you feel like you have adoration forever, or at the least feel like you have always had love imply for. And instead of welcoming them with open arms as one would logically expect, you push them away.
Now, you don’t definitely mean to do it on purpose, but you do. You are aware of what the worst case situation is, and out of suspicion, you try to take power over developments in the situation by doing it firstly, resolving things with the person.
Whatever Psychological phenomenon this may be, it is just that, psychological, all in your ability. If you pushed this person apart and are still agonizing the loss, you must accept “whats being” done, even if your scheme is to try again. To apologize to someone, you must accept what you have done in order to understand how or why it hurt them so you can move on and rectify the situation. If you do not face your horrors you will be caught in a vicious cycle of pushing everyone away.
Or, perhaps you had no personal panics. Maybe you were ready this time, and they were too. So, you make another factor get in the way. Maybe a friend was haunting the same person and you acknowledged. You may have mistaken one of the “uncontrollable factors” and gave up before you even tried to take control. Maybe, your pivotal mistake was refusing to fight.
My “One I Let Get Away” fought, he was continue and chose to follow his feelings for me, dismissing such obstacles propelled in our itinerary. In hindsight, these obstacles were microscopic and would have readily been overcome had I time stood my anchor and allowed myself to become idiotic, and maybe even selfish selects. However, I was detriment from a previous situation where I systematically started absurd choices that purposed up being bad for me. So being preferably mad, I ceded and compartmentalized. Tucking him and all the memories he left behind into a nifty little carton, countenancing him as “The One That Got Away.”
It wasn’t for a while that I came to the realization it was my fault. He surely was not the first son I sorrowed a loss of, but he was the first one whom the loss of I reflected over that I had an explanation for. Before him, I digested ego shots due to rebuff. “Why? ” I’d cry out, “Why aren’t I good enough? ” This time, I had answers to all of my questions. Pressuring me to have to words new ones. It was this new thinking that really made me realize that it was in fact–for lack of a better term–my fault.
He told me he enjoyed me. He told me he would drive the length. He damned those who got in our move. He was eager to put forth the effort that came along with affection me. Our cherish wasn’t–and likely would never have been–an easy one. I, nonetheless, could not find it within myself to hurt others for my own gain. So, I caused him extend. He told what I had to do to make it part, pleading with me to just say three little messages. Yet I was only able to come up with two. “I’m sorry.”
Once I realized he was actually “The One I Let Get Away”, I stopped detesting destiny so much better. I no longer looked at her as this cruel army, razzing us with “what could’ve been” But, chose to do what I couldn’t do before, confidence and go all in. I decided that the “The One That Got Away” was not real because if they got away, then they weren’t the one. I reassured myself soulmates were real and If anything is meant to be, it will be.
If I learned anything from my own experience is that sometimes you need to stop thinking and time come. Tolerating myself to do this is a big step, even if it is with a fictitious oblige and not a living, breathing human.
Now that you’ve recognise they were the one you let go, finish the job. Let them become, and that includes the fantasizes. You may surprise yourself and learn that you were infatuated with your “what if’s” and not the person or persons themselves. Sometimes, we merely fall in love with the idea of what people can do for us.
Once you’re free, explore. The only highway to improve is to try again. Now that you know your inaccuracies, you can forestall acting upon them. Remember the ache you felt when longing for them and do what you can to avoid it.